Frig I dunno
by PastTheVaultedDoors
Summary: Prompt for Deathshipping; winter, map, and fight. Theifshipping is in here as well. Guys, I don't know...


"I told you, it's that way!" Bakura bitched at Marik in the front seat of the open air jeep.

"No, you said right so I turned right- what does that flippin' GPS say?!" Marik barked right back, swerving a little as he kept taking his eyes off the road.

"No! I know where we're going! You asked if we were supposed to turn left and I said yes."

"You said 'right!'"

"Maybe in agreement."

"Bakura!"

"Marik!"

Ryou and Kek sat in back with expressions of serenity and murderous intent, respectively.

Marsa Alam was a beautiful resort city in Egypt on the coast of the Red Sea. Water blue like a turquois diamond and sand white like Ryou's milk skin. Well, pink skin, now, since he was already worrying a light burn from when he and Kek were waiting for Dumb and Dumber to pickup the rental car from the airport.

"Do you think we'd get arrested for killing them when we hit international waters?" Kek asked, but Ryou only snickered in response.

It was winter break, and the boys had decided to head to the sun instead of the cold. While Yugi and their friends froze their balls off in the mountains, they decided to kick back and relax with a few margarita on the sand.

"Look, just head to the water, we'll get there eventually," Bakura hissed and shut the useless GPS down. "It's not like we have far to go anyway."

"Oh my Ra, Bakura, you're horrible at giving directions."

The snarky white-haired boy smirked. "That's not what you said last night."

"Nope, don't need to hear this!" Kek hissed and shoved up to the front seat to blast the radio.

Two hours, a pit stop, and Ryou actually asking for directions later they arrived as their destination; a cottage off the shoreline, once bought out by Marik's mob funds, now used as a beach house.

While Bakura was first to claim a nap, Ryou found himself chopping up the fruit they purchased from a roadside vendor to go with the massive stock of alcohol they got for the week. "Did anyone see to it to get some food, too?" he asked while Kek and Marik headed out the deck doors in their swimming trucks.

"We can call in food and have it ordered," Marik smirked and sauntered out the door with a pink drink in his hand.

Kek shrugged. "He has a point. We're on vacation; you don't need to feed us."

Ryou decided not to argue about how they were all going to get sick and instead finished up in the kitchen and ran outside to join them. Bakura was found snoozing under an umbrella near Marik who was tanning like a diva in a speedo.

At least Kek had found his way into the waters. He looked rather serene with the waves pushing past his belly as he waded about. Ryou doused himself with sunscreen and ran in to join him, splashing his murderous lover once he was close enough. This tactic quickly amounted to a war that was swiftly won by the bigger of the two.

And Ryou's reward?

"Come 'ere," Kek purred like a contented lion and pressed their bare chests together.

"Not here," Ryou blushed, or that was just sunburn.

"Yes here. No one will notice if we keep it below the waterline." Kek made his point by groping Ryou's rather delicious behind.

There was little protest, and instead a giggle came from the pale boy. "Alright, but just don't- EEEE~ What's that?!" Ryou jumped at Kek, basically climbing his body to hang onto him above the water. "That! That! Get it!"

An odd sort of fin was coming at them through the water, cutting the clear blue with distorting ripples, aiming right for the duo.

"Get it! Get it!" Ryou yapped like he was calling out a spider for sitting in his toilet.

Kek came to the rescue quick enough and grabbed at the fin. A sputtering, angry, and white ghost appeared.

"Bakura, what the Hell?!" Kek roared at the other with a fistful of white hair.

"Let me go you barbarian. I was just having a bit of fun," Bakura sniffed indignantly and rubbed the sore batwing Kek had grabbed at. "Marik's being boring so I thought I'd see what you love birds were up to."

"Not funny," Ryou said from his safe spot, clinging to Kek's torso.

Bakura looked ready to laugh but his expression froze in a sudden leap of horror. He jumped at Kek, the apparent alpha male, and pointed at a real shark in the water. "Kill it! It's real!" he shrieked, clinging to Kek for all he was worth.

"Aw, but it's just a baby sand shard," Ryou cooed, although he never did climb down from his lover.

"I'm going to punch it!" Kek grinned his razor sharp smile.

"Don't you dare! It did nothing to you."

Bakura had other ideas. "Don't listen to him, Kek! Fight it! Fight it like you mean it!"

Meanwhile, Marik was humming to the pop song playing in his headphones and debating on taking off his speedo to ensure no tan lines when the bright sun was shadowed by a creepy onlooker. "Hey bud, get out of my light- ack!" he squawked as a sobbing wet Bakura was tossed on top of him.

"He's annoying as shit," Kek complained and walked away with still one white-haired boy under his arm.

"Where are we going?" Ryou asked sweetly.

"Shower. At least I won't get sand up my butt crack that way."

Ryou gave a deceptively innocent giggle as Kek hauled him into the house, leaving two annoying turds bickering about sunburns.


End file.
